Breadalbane 2025, An Ode

Yet another year passes, the nineteenth event;

A weekend of shanks, thins and too much money spent.

Belton Woods this year, the Scottish journey even longer;

New recruits in tow to help make the Tays stronger.

Scotch Corner road closed, making for an extra long trip;

No problem for Brucey, he simply went for a kip.

Once at the Premier Inn, there was a meet and greet;

Missing Edge and Alex, in their romantic retreat.

Organisation of the event, a key part each year;

2025 falling to... was it Steve Roberts or Alex Keir?

Whoever it was, the Sunday timing a farce;

And both men ready for court, aiming to cover their arse.

The new recruit, Chris, was ready to show;

That despite the rumours, his play wasn't that slow.

Plenty points on the board, his handicap appalling;

2nd place on his debut, but a 7&6 singles mauling.

Ian Baird returned, after 4 years away;

With a shiny new handicap, and two straight losses in match play.

Redemption on Sunday, singles point in The Rider Cup;

He now has a year, to get his handicap back up.

And the other man, who returned in white;

Was Anton Mowatt, hoping his golf wasn't shite.

Familiar defeats, on day one and day two;

But against Gaz in the singles, he turned the screw.

As for Kenmore, the return of big Blair;

Still unbeaten after Friday, Taymouth beware.

Could anyone beat him? The imperious Jew;

Drawn against Spof, and an upset did ensue.

A long journey for Corney, Saudi dress looking fine;

And a new jacket to take home, after being reacquainted with wine.

Whilst playing his ball, from behind a stake coloured white;

Led to a skud run, in the dark of night.

For Dave Cook, a harrowing weekend;

Late on the Friday, the last to attend.

No points and no sleep, a broken man;

His withdrawal from next year, may be a self-imposed ban.

To big Rolf himself, here is Mr Shaw's report;

41 points in round one, but the gimmes brought up in court.

Alas in round two, the Welshman ran out of steam;

20 points on the Sunday, the Quaich still a pipe dream.

Baz Ramsay turned up, his usual chest thumping;

But drawing Adam on Friday, another pumping.

And on Saturday, he would draw his nemesis once more;

A win this time, the whole UK heard the roar.

Steve Dodge next, he was up for the fight;

But drawing Edge once again, and no points in sight.

After a win on Saturday, against the head;

Blowing a 4up lead Sunday, will keep him awake in bed.

To the defending champ Alex, well practised for sure;

Deep down hoping, two in a row he would secure.

But with his handicap now, closer to that of a man;

Between that and court, his chances went down the pan.

Brucey recovering, from the mad dog en route;

A solid Saturday showing, 34 points he did shoot.

And at court, caught snitching on the whole field;

Even after the slaughter, a Sunday point he did yield.

And what of big McLuckie, no BB player taller;

A new nickname at court, Rudi Voller.

His golf solid as always, 2 points out of 3;

Dormie 9 against Jase, far too easy.

As for the giant slayer, not such a good year;

Jase with plenty of sclaffs, for the rest to cheer.

With Miles on Saturday, a miraculous win;

But the pre-weekend practice, ended up in the bin.

Three time champ Steven Roberts, needed something of a tonic;

Lots of individual success, but Rider Cup form chronic.

A win against Brucey, and then Adam so sweet;

Then the comeback against Dodge, a weekend without defeat.

The Tays had a hero, someone not predicted;

And as a blind woman, he will forever be depicted.

But Spof's mantra was, bring their best men to me;

And no one could argue, with three out of three.

For Kenmore, their skipper was a crest fallen Gaz;

An early set back, being drawn to room with Baz.

Desperate to lead, to four in a row;

But no points and defeat, was a brutal blow.

Craig Roberts led Taymouth, trinkets galore;

But a keen determination, to settle the score.

A man who under pressure, his knees normally quiver;

But fair play to Edge, The Rider Cup he did deliver.

And what of Adam, the best player in the squad?

His individual performance, you could only applaud.

With two out of three, in The Rider Cup match;

He took home the Quaich, shooting two under scratch.

And in 2026, the twentieth year;

Twenty four head to Spain, to drink all their beer.

Smitty and Ed, fitting Captains found;

And Jimmy returning, cheese boards all-round.

To his room-mate Andy, a warm welcome back;

By the time his round's over, it may be pitch black.

Bernie and Daz, return to team Tay;

Both can be wild, will they find a fairway?

La Cala will be braced, for a BB invasion;

The anticipation building, no finer occasion.

Kenmore still one short, for the big weekend;

Taymouth now the champs, something to defend.

From 2007, through until now;

The Breadalbane has developed, although still not high brow.

New ideas have come, a brochure, video and a song;

Although not sure we were ready, for Adam in a thong.

And so here is to, a fine group of men;

Who use the same jokes and stories, time and again.

And each year remember, Alex Smith;

The original winner, who the Foreskins played with.

From nine to twenty four, the field has grown;

And for many of them, their hair has flown.

But every year we are certain, the golf will be pish;

And Edgy each year, looks more like Spof bought from Wish.

Next year Smitty will lead, a long journey to undertake;

With Ed up against him, if he can just stay awake.

Breadalbane twenty will be massive, the world will revere;

Merry Christmas to all, and a Happy New Year!