Breadalbane 2024, An Ode

Another year passes, Breadalbane number eighteen;

Dubious golf, lots of beers and questionable hygiene.

The journey was arduous, a long road to Forest Pines;

Discussions on form, looking for signs.

The three-time winner, Junior Roberts had sorted;

By the end of the weekend, his position was distorted.

More on that later, his moment can wait;

There are plenty to get through, to bait and to slate.

Spof had to withdraw, for reasons so sad;

The guests of the hotel were probably glad.

He'll be back next year, and was definitely missed;

Taking his own shots, will make Edgy less pissed.

Dave Cook returned, after one year away;

His opening drive was the shot of the day.

Encouraging signs from a start so bright,

Alas, his form returned to the usual shite.

The much maligned Bernie, his card often a fable;

Aiming to stay off the foot of the table.

No discrepancies this year, 7s 8s and a 9;

His half point on Friday was mighty fine.

Miles Shaw often with him, near the bottom;

The Welshman a new man, previous form forgotten.

In the top group, a shock, teeing off on day two;

Twelve points on Sunday, absolute pooh.

Senior Cornelius, his knee on the mend;

Fought on the Saturday until the bitter end.

The Tays didn't find the comeback so funny;

And now he's laughing more, with all the Saudi money.

The younger Cornelius played out of his skin;

Unbeaten all weekend and a vital singles win.

In 2025, the first Captain of mixed-race;

Edgy's comment at court remains a disgrace.

Adam Duncan on fire, birdies galore;

And rent free in Baz's head, once more.

On the way down, his pee smelt ropey;

Then betrayed at court, over a broken trophy.

Dobbed in by his team mate, a story let loose;

Shocking behaviour from Mr Bruce.

His Saturday court session, the absinth did pour;

But it'll take more than that to lessen his score.

Edgy as a woman, left some rather scarred;

Except for Adam, who became semi-hard.

Fair play, next year's skipper delivered a maximum haul;

He'll lead using data, thinks he's Moneyball.

For Dazzy P, a mixed weekend;

The golf started well and in Dave, a new friend.

But his Sunday performance was not up to scratch;

No Quaich for him, and with Gaz a mismatch.

Baz started the year full of promise and hope;

But ended it with no points, a total dope.

His strategy of practice, seemed very clever;

But demeaned on a Christmas Card, he will remain forever.

His chief tormentor, Jason Kerr;

The Tays may be enquiring about a transfer.

An unbelievable knack of topping off the tee;

But ending the weekend on two and a half out of three.

Captain McLuckie, the latest Tay to try;

And silence the Kenmore victory cry.

A valiant effort, the margins were fine;

But his team lacked the bottle to get over the line.

Steven Rodgers, Kenmore's Captain America;

Needed a Sunday performance akin to Medina.

He rallied his charges to retain the cup,

Although after losing to Edgy, he may well give-up.

And to Steven Roberts, always in the favourites bracket;

Unbelievably ending the weekend in the Green Jacket.

His singles form too, a bit of sham;

And can he keep his Mrs off Instagram?

And so the winner, biggest bandit of all;

His handicap's what? Better Call Saul.

Alex Keir's name now amongst the greats;

Putting it down to the power from the weights.

His job now to organise 2025;

A new venue, Belton Woods, will come alive.

Although on Sunday night, still playing in the dark;

Could be a long night at court for the shark.

And next year the field will be at eighteen;

A welcome to Chris, previously unseen.

Slow play his mantra, taking his time;

Brucey and Blair will be matching that crime.

Back comes Ian Baird, and Reido too;

Diversity the winner, the field now with a Jew.

Kenmore going for four in a row;

Or can Taymouth finally put on a show?

The finest weekend, golf, glory and beer;

Merry Christmas to all and a Happy New Year.